Dumbest Pirates Ever

Arr! What's the stupidest possible thing a modern-day pirate can do?

I'm talking really, really stupid. Worse than forgetting where you buried your treasure. Think about it.

The answer is: attack the United States Navy:

Commander Jeff Breslau, of the Navy's Fifth Fleet, which is based in Bahrain, told VOA what happened next.

"As [the Navy ship] Gonzalez's boarding teams prepared to conduct a routine boarding of the suspect vessel, the ships noticed that a group of suspected pirates were brandishing what appeared to be rocket-propelled grenade launchers," he said. "The suspected pirates then opened fire on the Navy ships."

Commander Breslau says the two U.S. ships then returned fire with small arms in self-defense.

"In the exchange, one of the suspected pirates was killed and a fire ignited aboard the main suspect vessel," he added.

Twelve suspects, including the five injured, were taken into U.S. custody. A rocket-propelled grenade launcher and automatic weapons were also confiscated. No U.S. sailors were injured in the engagement, and there was only minimal damage to the American ships.

See what happens? Imagine you're the foolhardy pirate captain who ordered the attack. One of your men is killed, several more injured, your ship gets set on fire, and you're taken into custody. All without harming a single American sailor.

That is a pretty lousy day for a pirate. These guys are not doing much for the reputation of the profession.