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Aye Eye, Cap'n
You'll regret reading this. Don't say I didn't warn you.
For the past several days my left eye has been a little bloodshot. Tomorrow morning I expect it will be fine.
Why? Because I discovered I had four eyelashes in my left eye. They had migrated over to the side, so they were usually smothered between my eye and eyelid, where I couldn't feel them. Every once in a while I'd feel like I had something in my eye, but I never got anything out, and the feeling always passed quickly.
I fished three of them out with my finger. The fourth was so far to the side it was almost invisible. I lost track of it several times. I finally removed it with tweezers. (!)
I don't know how I got four eyelashes caught in my eye. And I don't know how they stayed in there for so long. Does this happen to everyone? Do dead people have little reservoirs of long-lost eyelashes around or behind their eyes?
Anyway, I think I've permanently overcome the natural aversion to touching one's own eye. I think I could switch from glasses to contact lenses now without any problem. And I'm told I look better without glasses, so maybe I'll do that… (That's my way of justifying writing about all this. If you're still reading. Which you shouldn't be.)