When I Loose my Mind

Wow. There is so much to gripe about the English language that I should just say that the entire language is messed up -- except for the wonderful fact that our words are not of a specific gender and we have only one word for "the".

When I started to learn a second language (German in highschool -- which is WAY too late to begin new language skills), I was shocked that they have (I think) SIX words for "the". (Der, die, das, dem, den, des!) And German has some INCREDIBLY long words! "The classic longest German word is Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän, which in English becomes four words: "Danube steamship company captain." http://german.about.com/library/blwort_long.htm

Some words, like those five you listed, (uh oh...am I suppposed to write "five" or "5" :) )... Anyway, their meanings are much clearer when seen in written form, but can be difficult to discern the correct word when speaking, especially speaking quickly or over the phone, ESPECIALLY on a cell phone. And yes, I know, the context of the conversation should help but not always, and honestly, I would think you're kidding about those last two words -- did you make those up? Using words that almost no one else knows doesn't help, and I can't even believe what a nightmare these differences are to hear if you're not a native English speaker. --Remember that our ability to hear different spoken sounds is determined by the age of _6 months_, soo...

This reminds of when I was in elementary school and I was having trouble spelling the word "sugar". My dad told me to _sound it out_. Gee, thanks.

My favorite threesome, which I remember from middle school, was to hear the pronounciation difference between "marry", "merry" and "Mary."

I don't mind too much the written shorthand we use on the computer, as I see it is necessary when battling enemies on WoW and you have to convey your message as fast as possible... But the one that confuses me the most is "ur". EVERY time I see that I get confused. I want to pronounce that as "er" or "oar" but never "your". Why don't we just reduce everything down to their first letters? T s c t u.

(That should clear things up.)

Why do we have a special symbol for "at"? (@) It's a TWO LETTER WORD! And what is the name of that symbol? And don't even get me started on the ampersand! (&)

Why is it that, the smaller something is, the larger the word for it? (Or at least it seems to be...) I remember drawing (in elementary school) a map of the world, and trying to fit the word "Australia" on _Australia_ was impossible, but "Asia" had room to spare! Also, adding "ette" to words to describe them as smaller -- makes the word bigger!

Also remember that people can still read sentences that are quite scrambled, as long as the words start and end with the correct letter.

"Aoccdrnig to rsceearh at an elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer is in the rghit pclae."

I think this may be true for common words, but I can't imagine this is easy for lots of words -- those that are long, are similar to other words in the sentence or are not that common. "Ctiknesioys" anyone? (cytokinesis)

And don't forget regional accents! Central Jersey and Iowa (and most of the midwest) residents really don't have an accent, but there are a few words that are different. "Creek" is not the same thing as a "crick", and I've always said "measurement", but people in Iowa say "maaysurement". And it is SODA, people!

Speaking, well, writing of which, ever read the beginning of your dictionary where they give you the pronunciation key? Uh, how does that help when there are characters there not found in our language?! And, they need more than one example because what if you don't know how the example is pronounced! They need a audible prounciation key instead.(http://dictionary.reference.com/help/ahd4/pronkey.html)

And I haven't even talked about the trials and tribulations about spelling or grammar yet!...

I hope I haven't made any faux pas (plural?!) in my comments for I will surely be condemned! (condomed lol)

Knot awl miss steaks will bee found bye spell cheque.

Ever considered a second career as an English professor? :) I used to think I was hardcore about spelling and the correct usage of a word in comparison to most people, but I guess I hadn't met you yet. You even taught me a thing or two.